Not too long ago, I was in conversation with my cousin who has 10-year-old twins. She shared that in school, they both are known as very empathetic, sensitive and playful (although talkative) children, and teachers enjoy communicating and teaching them both.
I thought to myself, how many parents in this day and age can say that about their children? Human skills like empathy, communication, etc. are passed on primarily by parents at home. Children learn by observation and parents have to lead by example. The most important aspect of passing these values down is to build a relationship with your child.
Building a relationship with your child often gets challenging with their growing age, changing interests and activities. Parenting ensures that children grow up the way parents want them to – with boundaries, rules and schedules. Remember – they are human beings and they need to form solid connections with the people they trust the most.
Let’s look at how to build a holistic relationship with your child:
Open Communication
Let your children express themselves. Studies show that children who are able to express their emotions in words also develop the skill to put their thoughts and creative ideas into words. By communicating with them, you help them understand that their emotions and thoughts are important. Asking them questions and encouraging them to do so too helps them develop their logical and critical thinking. Read UNICEF’s tips on how to communicate with your child.
Practise Active Listening
Parents hear the phrase “You’re just not listening to me!” so many times from their children. Active listening means to give full attention to the speaker. Engage your children in conversations by being fully present. Show that you value their thoughts and feelings, and respond thoughtfully to what they say. Showing empathy will help them trust you.
Show Consistency, and Be Reliable
Building trust is a continuous process. Being consistent with your words and actions helps your child to feel secure. Your child will rely on you if your behaviour is reliable. When you make promises to your child, ensure that you follow through. Keeping promises reinforces trust.
Encourage Passions and Interests
Children have a varied range of interests growing up, some different from their parents. Supporting their exploration helps build confidence and curiosity. Offer the tools and resources to your children to pursue these interests, and give them opportunities to explore their passions. Be patient with your child while this exploration is in process. Read our blog here to know about how your children learn by exploring.
Relationships built on trust and understanding are the most meaningful. Children need to feel connected to and valued by their parents. The connection children share with their parents is the most important, so let’s make it the best!
